A Celebrants Word or Two
Leading up to your big mushy loved up day
The chances are you are going to have a least one out of body meltdown experience leading up to your big day, it’s inevitable, I’ve seen the calmest of them loose their banana peel, go with it, it will pass, you will not be like this forever. Your emotions will be running high, you are about to get married THAT’S HUGE! along with the chances are you have never organised a sit down dinner for 150 people before, you want everything to be perfect. Remember this, you haven’t given anyone an itinerary so they have no idea what’s going to go on throughout the day and night so if something doesn’t go to plan who will know plus by that stage you will have calmed your farm and be in this blissful bubble with your newly betrothed.
Toni Collette in Muriel’s Wedding
I’m your celebrant not your priest or Vicor! More and more of you are leaving the church, you tell me it’s because it’s too stuffy or not personal and so on, I had a priest come up to me after one of my ceremonies recently, where I may have said “our bride is so excited she almost peed her pants” he told me he had conducted about 600 weddings in his time and never would he have been allowed to say “peed her pants” and I said I would never have been able to perform weddings as a priest because I have no filter and have no idea what’s going to come out of my mouth! (Oh he loved the ceremony by the way) and I think that is what couples are looking for these days, gay, straight or otherwise, it’s about having fun and injecting your personalities into not just your reception but also your ceremony, I honestly believe how you start is how you continue, especially since more and more of you are heading straight to your reception soon after ceremony, after cocktail hour of course, oh how I love cocktail hour!
Image by https://alli.studio/
Your First Kiss
I always say practice your first kiss because if it’s just a peck I’m going to get you to do it again but don’t go tongue because no one wants to see that, you have a really big scope to make this a fabulous photo shot so don’t be boring! ok how can I explain this a little clearer, you want something more than what you give Granny and something less then what you do to make babies, clearer now?
Standing at the alter with groom waiting for his bride to enter and he says “Sharon every time I practiced that kiss, something would pop up, what if that happens now, during the ceremony?”
I said “I’d smack it down with my microphone.”
Needless to say it was a nice first kiss with with no unexpected surprises.
Image by Oy Photography
Lateness & Booze
Lateness, no one likes lateness unless it is totally unavoidable like my poor Groom who split his pants getting into the Limo to his Ceremony location, after finding an Aunty who had a sewing machine to fix his pants he was 45 minutes late, the good thing was drinks were being served so guests weren’t too concerned apart from his bride who was waiting in the smallest bridal suite known to man kind and banging back those champagnes like nothing else, speaking of booze, here’s the thing, if you are “affected or impaired” basically drunk or off chops, legally, I am unable to marry you, this was the first and only time I had to cut anyone off from the bar and I loved that it was my stunning bride.
No Pants image by Warrenphotography
Speaking of stunning bride, if you are going to have a spray tan for that little extra glow on your big day, please have a trial run weeks in advance, it doesn’t matter how gifted and talented your photographer is, no amount of talent in photoshop is going to get rid of your orange skin, unless every photo is in black and white even then you just look dark.
Anne Hathaway from Bride Wars